Ok, explosion may be a bit of an overstatement, but I certainly did have a very strong reaction to a student today that is both very out of character for me, and in retrospect that I regret very much.
To put a little context to the story, this is a student that I knew I would have troubles with from day one, I just hoped that it wouldn't ever lead to an event like today and certainly not this soon. He was that student that walks into a classroom and before doing anything else, makes sure to stop, made eye contact with the teacher, and roll his eyes in contempt before moving on to his seat. Alright, well this may not literally happen, but it might as well. There is a little passage I came across in the book Discipline Survival Kit for the Secondary Teacher that talks about "students that do not hesitate to let us know through a variety of disruptive behaviors that they are not at all interested in either an education, or becoming productive citizens," well, this is that kid.
Anyway, I have for the most part chosen to give him "the eye," use proximity, or verbally prod him into doing his work up to this point, but it has been a struggle every day. Then, today, after catching him completely away from his group earlier on (for which he was supposed to be working on an assignment with), talking to another boy about the best way to kill someone (no joke), I later caught him with his head down on his desk while I was modeling close reading skills for the class and I dont know exactly why, but I just kinda flipped out. I stopped everything and in front of everyone, told him (quite loudly) that he had not participated at all in any of the previous activities, that he had turned in almost no writing assignments and he was now disrespecting me and my classroom by sleeping while I lead a lesson. I told him that either we were going to step out in the hall to talk it out or he would be making a trip to the principles office if he did not sit up and pay attention...
Well, there was a somewhat shocked silence in the room for a moment, (I think that I was almost as shocked as the students were to be honest), and I then asked the boy in question to answer the question that I had asked just asked prior to blowing my top. Of course he answered that he didn't know, or at least made no effort to answer it, and not thinking it best to push it any furtherm, I moved awkwardly on wit the lesson for the last 3 or 4 minutes of class.
Well, after the bell rang and the students had all left, it hit me like a rock, and I just felt like a total ass. I felt like I did something I thought I would never do, which was belittle a student in the front of his/her peers. I immediately realized that I should have taken him out into the hall to talk about my frustration rather than pull the dirty laundry out in public, but of course it was too late to fix this. I had just been so angry at the moment I hadn't really stopped to think about the best way to deal with the situation and ended up doing just about the worst thing I could have.
I have since resolved to apologize for confronting him like that before class tomorrow, but to also communicate to him my feelings of frustration about his lack of respect towards me and my class. I think it will be crucial that I ask him what we can do to fix this situation and also make some sort of attempt to have him tell me a little bit about who he is and where he is coming from. I feel that if he sees that I want to make a connection with him and that I have a legitimate interest in who he is and why he acts the way he does, he may improve his attitude, if only even to the smallest degree, because I think this would be a victory of sorts...
Kelli also suggested that I also make a public apology to the student in the class, but Patti had suggested that this may be a bad idea. I could really see it going either way, I mean I don't want to make it an even bigger deal, but I feel that if I use it as a learning opportunity and to show them that I am human and make errors in judgment as well, but that we need to all work to respect one-another, it could bond us as a class, as a community a little tighter...
If anyone has any thoughts/suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated.
I suggest you do both: talk to him privately and made a short statement to the class with a general apology for losing your temper. Short and sweet, then move on.
ReplyDeleteThere are plenty of books like "Discipline survival kit" around that give a bunch of generic techniques and suggestions concerning discipline. I suppose some find them helpful. I don't.
They might give you a short term strategy to stop the immediate disruptive behavior, but they don't help you understand the root problem.
I suggest you focus on what motivates this student. You can assume that he is one of those students who "do not hesitate to let us know through a variety of disruptive behaviors that they are not at all interested in either an education or in becoming a productive citizen." That would let you off the hook, but I wonder if you know him well enough to make that judgement?
Psychologists (Rudolph Dreikurs, for example)suggest that students misbehave to achieve one (or a combination) of 4 goals: attention, power, revenge or avoidance of failure. Once you have identified what might be motivating him, it will be easier develop a plan and to consider the most effective interventions.
There is a good book that builds on Dreiker's thinking by Linda Albert called "Cooperative Discipline". I think both Patti and I have a copy which we could loan you.