Frustrated! Frustrated! Frustrated! Sorry, I had every intention of getting to school this morning and blogging for the leadership prompt, but I got about my 300th guilt trip about not giving Sadie enough attention, and it really just pissed me off to be honest, and now I can't think about anything else, so I figured I'd just vent first and then maybe I'd be able to move past it...
I am a busy guy right now. Granted I am a busy guy a lot, I often take on a little more responsibility than a sane person would, but I get a sense of pride from this and feel that a person can only really grow when they are put in uncomfortable positions (in the theory of evolution, there has to be a certain amount of stress on a population before it will make any steps forward). So this has been my M.O. for as long as I can remember. But since I really started dating seriously, it has always been a problem for my girlfriends. Why do girls need daily re-affirmation that you care about them? Don't misinterpret my last question, because I understand that someone needs to feel that you need/want them, but in my eyes, I show her in a thousand different ways each day that I care deeply about her, and it never seems to be enough! In a guys eyes (well at least in my eyes), unless something big goes down or you notice a significant change in my behavior towards you, I still feel the same way. Nothing is going to change in a 24 hour period, guys aren't that fickle of creatures.I have come to realize however, that women, and Im sorry if this is a broad generalization (no pun intended), need verbal confirmation as well as an endless showering of attention and affection in order to be content! Well Im sorry, but sometimes I just can't devote every thought towards them! I got crap to do! Now, when I'm at school I feel guilty that I'm not giving her the attention that she needs, but when I'm with her, I feel guilty for not doing the work that I know needs to be done for school!!! It's a vicious cycle and I don't know how to get out of it!!!
Is it just the women that I date that have this insatiable insecurity, or does this happen to everyone (Alex, Don, I'm looking in your direction here)??? Isn't there a happy medium somewhere between professional and personal? What the heck can I do to make this work in both areas of my life?
...Any advice/input would be greatly appreciated.
Yours truely,
Confounded in Caldwell
Dear "Confounded in Caldwell",
ReplyDeleteYou look to Alex and to me for direction? Seriously?
I suppose I could suggest you read, "Why Don't You Understand Me?" by Deborah Tannin. It is the classic attempt be a linguist to analyze male vs female miscommunication.
I don't really know Sadie, but I do know that the arch or relationships usually has an early stage of insecurity. Plus, Sadie is on summer vacation and has time on her hands.
You, however, are immeshed in an intensive 6 weeks of school. There have been a number of times when Vicki was still teaching and I was on vacation. Bored, I tend to be demanding of her time. So, I am not all that sure it is a gender thing.
So, no real advice from me. Maybe Alex will weigh in.
Sincerely,
Clueless in Caldwell