Take me to your leaderer!!!

"One of the hardest tasks of leadership is understanding that you are not what you are, but what you're perceived to be by others."

-Edward Flom

If one frequently reads biographies on famous historical figures, or watches a lot of cheesy inspirational television shows on A&E, one might commonly hear the phrase, "he/she was a natural born leader." This phrase will then be followed by a pictures of a young boy or girl whose beaming smile shows an adolescent blessed with an unusually large helping of good looks, charm, charisma, lucidity, direction, motivation, or articulateness. Well, if you examine this picture a little closer, standing somewhere in the background, you will probably see a smaller, semi-chubby, rather goofy looking child, with a big brown tooth, and something resmbling milk shooting out his nose because he's laughing too hard at someone's joke. Well, this child was probably me.

For as far back as I can remember, I was not really comfortable in the leader's position. I was always best friends with the cool kid in class that made all the decisions. I don't think I have ever been someone who gleans all of their personality and energy off of the more dominant individual, I had my own distinct, unique character, I just didn't care for all the unnecessary responsibility and attention at that age. I always felt like I had the ability to lead (I saw myself as a smart, moderately good looking, funny kid), but for some reason I always felt like I needed to be a little older, I needed to grow into myself a little more before I could take up that position. It may have also had something to do with the fact that (and this may be somewhat of a broad generalization) children tend to pick their leaders by looks as opposed to personality (when was the last time you saw the chubby, crooked nosed kid in the center of the group on the playground?) and I would not have been their first pick, that much is for sure.

Even at an early age, I think I grasped the idea that to be a leader, you had to be in the possession of an extra amount of something (be it looks, skills, brains etc.) that gave you a position of authority/credibility and you had to use this authority to create a certain perception of yourself that others would be willing to follow. But even more importantly, you had to know where you were going. The term leading implies moving in a particular direction, and whilst I have never really had a problem producing enthusiasm and passion for any number of topics/activities, I was never very good at deciding which topic/activity to focus on in the first place. Going back to the idea of responsibility here, to be a leader, you must be able/willing to take the risk of possibly choosing the wrong direction, of wasting other people's time and energy, of looking like an idiot when bad decisions are made, or people are hurt/angered in the process. This is what always terrified me about be at the head of the pack.

Things started to change for me when I began taking theater classes in junior high school. At the end of my second year, I wrote a play that the class read and elected to produce for our final project. Because I wrote it, I was also chosen to direct it. Now, had I realized the risks I was taking on by accepting this position, I might have declined the responsibility, but I didn't see it like this, all I wanted was to try to make this funny play come to life in the way that I had envisioned it while writing. By focusing on this aspect of the project instead of the success or failure of my leadership skills, I did my job with genuine interest and energy, and did a pretty darn good job (if I do say so myself)! I was not your typical kind of director, because it was not my way or the highway, I found that by having a general idea of what I wanted, but an openness to creativity and impromptu additions by the cast, I ended up with a lot more engaging, entertaining product than I could have ever written by myself. I took this style into high school where I began taking video production classes and college where I studied film and continued directing all the projects I worked on in this way.

Now obviously, teaching and film are different in a lot of ways, but there is a lot more similarities than one would first imagine. I think it is essential that on a film or in a class, everybody involved (students and teacher[s] alike) need to see their time together as working towards some final creative product/goal. They need to know that what they are doing is worthwhile, and fun to boot (most of the time at least). They need to feel that they have some sort of input or effect on the endeavor and that their presence is valued by their peers and leader(s) alike. As a director/teacher/leader, it is your duty to make sure they see and feel all of this.

On a film or in a classroom, it is also your responsibility to be the peacekeeper and rule enforcer. There are always going to be conflicting personalities in any group setting, and it is the leader's job to ensure that the voices and the temperaments of the group, stay productive, and focused on the task at hand. This is of course easier said than done, but going back to what I think made my first directing experience successful, if the activities are filled with purpose and a clear picture of a final destination/goal is established, the progress made will be incalculable!

Every day I try to become something/someone worthy of the respect and attention of others.
Every day I try to ensure that I do not treat anyone unfairly or without due respect/consideration. Every day I try to become less like the child that was so terrified of responsibility and more like that person so filled with a sense of purpose that he is not even aware of the risk of failure. Every day I try to ensure that I do not drink a lot of milk before someone tells me a really funny joke....

Only time will tell if I am successful.